One of my favorite interpretations of the acronym FEAR is "Forget Everything and Run." Fleeing is a natural response when we feel exposed or threatened. This instinct may keep us physically safe, but it also becomes the greatest barrier to fulfilling our deepest calling to be fully, unapologetically ourselves. Anything less almost certainly leads to discontent.

In my last blog, I explored the importance of self-awareness and how to begin the journey inward. I also cautioned that the process isn’t easy but it is possible. The challenge lies in the paradox that fear presents: it helps us survive, yet it can also keep us from truly living. Fear urges us to seek safety, but in doing so, it often prevents us from stepping toward the most important discovery of all: the person we were always meant to be.

That is the leading goal for all of my blogs and the basis for everything I will ever write to you about. Our greatest obligation in life is to become our true self because anything less will be the root cause of our unhappiness. Today I will tell you my versions of why fear is the greatest obstacle to inner consciousness and how you can conquer it.

We Are Our Own Worst Enemy

If people know who we really are, we will be ridiculed, or worse rejected. So, we hide and deny. It is quite natural for us to seek approval and acceptance from others. I once read a sign in the entrance to a restaurant in the Florida Keys, it simply stated: “We can’t tell you the way to success, but we can tell you the way to failure, try to please everyone.”

When we compromise or suppress our true selves to gain approval from others, we pay a steep price. Because no matter how far we run, we can't escape ourselves—and with every step away from who we are, we leave our happiness behind.

Developmental psychologists tell us that we are all born with two innate fears, the fear of falling, and the fear of loud noises. All the other fears are acquired through life. If this is true then we must find a remedy for what impedes our well-being, our sense of inner peace and our lack of contentment.

Confront Your Fears Head On 

Confronting our fears, especially with the guidance of a mental health professional, is an essential first step, but it demands both courage and honesty. One of the most compelling models for this kind of inner work is the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I’ve long considered it one of the most profound spiritual frameworks ever created, beginning as it does with a raw and honest acknowledgment of one’s own vulnerabilities. 

This is a great place to begin, what are your fears?  

This is not an exercise in self-loathing but one that eliminates both denial and delusion. The fact is, what we fear, often tells us more about ourselves than we care to admit.  

Are you crippled by the same fears that most people never admit to? 

Fear of... 

• Not being good enough 
• Rejection
• Failure
• Success
• Being alone
• Losing control
• Change
• Being exposed
• Being confronted
• Not being loved  

In his landmark book, “Love Is Letting Go of Fear,” Dr. Gerald G. Jampolsky, MD cites, “A Course in Miracles” (written by clinical psychologist Helen Schucman) which states, “…..there are only two emotions: love and fear. The first is our natural inheritance, and the other our mind manufactures.” In essence, fear fades when you fully accept and love yourself. When you choose love instead of mistrust, judgment, or self-protection, fear begins to lose its grip. 

Having worked with alcoholics and drug addicts for most of my life I have never ceased to be stirred by a phrase often written in recovery facilities: “When the pain of remaining the same becomes greater than the fear of change, we will change.” 

Once we acknowledge the fear that impedes us from our better self, we have a choice, allow it to continue to paralyze or dare to be free from its shackles. We have the power to liberate ourselves and become the person we always knew we could be. This is a tremendous, life-changing task, not without difficulty, not without its physical and emotional toils but like anything of value in life, it’s neither easy nor simple. If it were, more of us would not be as miserable as we are. 

The price for this life-long exercise is so frightening that people prefer darkness over the light of self-discovery. Paul Coehlo has written; “Tell your heart, the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.”  Consequently, our minds will create countless reasons why we should not commence this self-exploration.  

This leads us to an important but piercing question: Will you take control of your mind or let it control you? 

If, as Dr. Jampolsky writes, love is letting go of fear, then none of us can truly find meaning or the wholeness we seek without first confronting and mastering our fears. Until we do, we remain prisoners to their power.  

But when we finally face our fears something profound begins to unfold.  We start to trust not just others, but ourselves perhaps for the very first time. 

That moment demands a deep commitment; a willingness to uncover and embrace the full truth of who you are. Because in reality, we can’t control what life brings or how others perceive us. If you are courageous enough to take that journey, one essential revelation awaits: you will come to understand that you never truly loved yourself. Why? 

Because the fear of being fully seen, the fear of discovery, made such love impossible. These inner demons had long taken residence, fiercely guarding their territory.

 But their hold is not permanent!

 Once fear is evicted, what takes its place is extraordinary: a deep love and appreciation for oneself and a peace within that nothing can ever take away. 

Five steps to letting go of fear:

Step 1: Open with prayer

You did not create me to live in fear, but to walk in trust and freedom.
When anxious thoughts rise up, remind me that You are greater than my worries.
When fear whispers lies, speak Your truth into my heart.
Help me to release control, to surrender my burdens, and to rest in Your peace.
Give me courage to take the next step, knowing You go before me.
Let Your perfect love cast out my fear and lead me into the fullness of life You’ve prepared for me.
Amen.

Step 2: Acknowledge your fear

• Don’t pretend the fear is not there. Recognize it for what it is and put a name to it.

Step 3: Understand its root

• Ask yourself where this is coming from. Is it past experiences, self-doubt, or imagined “what ifs”?

Step 4: Reframe the Fear

• Don’t see your fear as a threat. Look at it as a teacher leading you to areas of growth.

Step 5: Take small actions

• Break the grip of fear has by taking action. Even the smallest step forward builds courage.

Explore More:

Love Is Letting Go of Fear: by Dr. Gerald G. Jampolsky, MD 

A Course in Miracles: by Helen Schucman, PhD 

Courage by Design: by Dee M. Robinson